42% of Black Women Never Married – Want To? Date Sponge Bob Square Pants!

According to national statistics, 42 percent of black women have never been married, compared to 21 percent of white woman. Question is: what can the average black woman do about it?

When one talks about marriage and black women, there are a list of common and I believe somewhat applicable reasons given for why many black women are not married: (1) the incarceration rate for black men is higher than men of other races, (2) the increase in black men dating and marrying outside of their race, (3) black men on the “down low” (living secret lives having sex with other men while pretending to be homosexual), (4) black women are “more independent” and don’t need a man to take care of them.

But you know what, I’d like to steer from the academic and offer three things that would make any man not want to marry a woman: poor choices, poor attitude, and putting penis before personality or P3B. I know, controversial and stereotypical. Well, this is a blog, and I am trying to stimulate minds and conversation. In truth, all of the reasons mentioned by anyone or at least partially true once. And we are not going to solve this issue over night. But I’m a firm believer that good communication is the key to any relationship and solving any problem. So who knows, you just might meet your soul mate while talking about this article! So fire away!

Poor Choices

Choosing to have a baby outside of marriage. According to DADI, nationally, 69 percent of births among black women were to unwed mothers. For a man, especially a black man whose income and resources are often limited, the decision to take care of someone else’s child is a monumental one. He’ll have to provide financially for more than two people—right of the bat. Then there’s the baby’s Daddy drama. And if the kids are older, as in my case, he will have to take time to develop a relationship with them. However, no matter how good, it will never be as strong as with his own kids—but the bills we be just as large.

Choosing to have sex outside of marriage or at least having casual sex. My Mom has a saying, “why buy the cow when you can drink the milk for free?” Think about it.

Attraction to the wrong type of male. I will cover this later.

Poor attitude

Black women, I know for much of your life you have had to do it on your own. I know you have been with some pretty sorry men. But sometimes you need to know when to be quite! When God sends someone to help you, please, let them. And for God's sake, build them up, don’t tear them down. The next time you are talking to a potential life partner, and you aren't married yet, ask yourself this question: is it more important for me to get my way, or for us to find OUR way together. I know you have a picture of how you want things to be, but remember that if you want a mate, you have to cooperate.

P3B

What’s that? Putting penis before personality. That’s right. As the old folks say, all that gliders is not gold. Has good sex paid your bills, nursed you when you were sick, counseled you, or comforted your children? If not, read on. Chose a man who’s a provider, a giver, a friend, and who is also God fearing and working. And if he’s educated (good trades count!) then all the better. To put it humorously give the small-sized, homely, easy-going, average income, God-fearing, boring, working brother a chance! So, the next time Sponge Bob Square Pants asks you out, go!

Penny for your thoughts?

How To Find The IMPERFECT Mate

Today, I came across an interesting statistic about black people and marriage: 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites. And, African American women are the least likely in our society to marry.

This got me to thinking. Why do so many black folk, and women in particular, find it so hard to find someone to/worth marrying? My mind flashed back to my parents advice, all those articles I read on relationships, the Sunday sermons, and the seminars and books on "how to find the right person." As I reviewed the stuff in my mind, it dawned on me that there were common themes. So why are black folk still having a hard time? Well, sometimes I understand things better if they are stated in opposition, i.e. tell me to do something that results in exactly what I DON'T want to happen. So, if you want to practically guarantee you will enter into the wrong relationship, wrong marriage, or not marry at all, read on.

Robert's 10 Rules For Finding The Imperfect Mate

Rule 1. Date someone below your social class. That's right, marry someone with far less education and money than you and you guarantee yourself a miserable existence.
Rule 2. Date someone with different religious beliefs than you. Go ahead Christian and marry that non-church goer or that atheist. And by all means don't pray about it.
Rule 3. Judge a book by its cover, date someone simply because they are your look type.
Rule 4. Go to the club, chat room, gym, mall, Internet, etc. to find that special someone.
Rule 5. Totally disregard anything your family has to say about the person you want to marry. After all, what do they know? And you're grown!
Rule 6. Date someone solely because of their material possessions. What's the phrase on Tyler Perry's movie? "Quality"
Rule 7. Value good sex more than good conversation.
Rule 8. Date someone who is selfish and self-centered.
Rule 9. Let your Friends decide if the person is right for you.
Rule 10. Don't meet the other person's family while dating.