Women of Color: Are You Loosing Your Hair To Get “Good Hair”?

This weekend; my wife and I watched “Good Hair” starring Chris Rock. In the movie Rock visits beauty salons, hairstyling competitions, science labs and India to get various perspectives on the hair weave industry. He also interviews a bevy of celebrities, salon owners and their clients.

At first I thought this was just another low budget “let’s watch this because nothing else is good out” movie but I was wrong—the movie was actually entertaining and enlightening. It also got me to thinking. Here are just a couple of tidbits I picked up from the movie:

• Black hair care is a $9 billion industry.
• 30% to 34% of all hair products in the U.S. are purchased by black women. And weaves, worn by women of all ethnicities but especially by black women, account for 65% of hair-care revenue!
• The hair comes from a variety of sources: India, Asia, Russia, Brazil, Mongolia and Malaysia.
• There are only a handful of black hair care product manufacturers—most are international conglomerates.
• Korean vendors have cornered the market on the sale and distribution of hair weave through their beauty shops.

But I bet there’s something you didn’t know… and it wasn’t discussed in the movie. Did you know that your quest for good hair could be contributing to a rising health problem among African American women? Well it is and it’s called traction alopecia.

What is Traction Alopecia?

Traction alopecia is loss of hair—most commonly in the outer regions of the forehead and face—caused by excessive pulling of the hair. Has your beautician ever mentioned this risk?

What Causes Traction Alopecia?

Traction alopecia is caused by damage done to the hair follicle by continual pulling and tight tension for very long periods to the hair. It occurs in people who wear tight braids, especially dreadlocks that lead to pulling, tension and breaking of hair. Of note, many men suffer from this problem too. In addition chemical processing of your hair can cause traction alopecia that can be irreversible if prolonged damage has occurred.

This type of hair loss has been on the rise among black women and children. Yes kids, the movie “Good Hair” asked several women how young were their children when they first braided their hair—one woman said her child was three! I believe on of the beauticians said a mother asked her to add extensions to and braid the hair of a two-year-old! How young was your child when you first had his or her hair braided?

What Are The Treatment Options?

Much of that depends on how long the problem has been going on. If you’ve had this problem for a long period of time your only option may be a hair transplant. Your Dermatologist may also try Minoxidil (Rogaine) or Finesteride. But I believe the best option is to opt out of this hairstyle. I mean, is it really worth you loosing your natural hair?

This issue has really hit home in my family—my wife has just been diagnosed with this disease.

“A women’s hair is her glory” or so the old saying goes. This is a disturbing trend that’s perfectly preventable—just wear your own hair. After all, do you want to look like this?

How about it; are you suffering from this disease?

How are you dealing with it?

What treatment option(s) have you tried?

Have you had success with any particular dermatologist?

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Domestic Violence: Dumb, 'cause you can't solve problems with your fists

I originally included a recent Rihanna photo at the beginning of this blog. Because some felt it a bit much, I have removed it. And, although the photo is disconcerting, so is this issue.

Hitting anyone out of anger is not only wrong its wrongheaded. Know why? Because you can't solve your problems with your fists. Therefore, if you're trying to solve a problem or issue in this way, you're dumb.

Did you know that African-American women experience intimate partner violence at rates 35% higher than their White counterparts and 2.5 times the rate of men and other races? It's true. And, according to the Institute on Domestic Violence, "violence affects all Americans, regardless of race, gender, or socioeconomic status. However, this threat has disproportionately dire consequences for African-American women." Did you also know that domestic violence is not just limited to men? Yeah, women hit too. But no matter which way the fists fly, the behavior is just plain wrong.

The way I see it, you've got two issues going on here: handling the explosive situation and managing your emotions. Following are tips on dong both:

If you're really trying to solve a problem or issue, you need to COMMUNICATE:

Women's media.com offers advice on controlling one's anger:

1. Become Aware of what precipitates your anger--identify what "sets you off."

2. Monitor the feelings and bodily sensations you experience when you're becoming angry.Learn to use these sensations as cues to stop...

3. Change the thoughts that trigger anger, interpreting the situation from a different (less provocative) point of view. Often, this involves looking at the situation from the other person's perspective.

4. Write down angry thoughts. Once you have them on paper, challenge and reappraise them. Or write a letter to the person you're angry with and then tear it into a hundred pieces. But be careful: The longer you dwell on what made you angry, the more reasons and self-justifications you can find for being angry. Try not to fan your own fire.

5. Identify and express the feelings that precede anger. Anger is often a secondary emotion, erupting in the wake of other feelings, like frustration, resentment, humiliation, or fear. Try to become aware of the underlying emotion and express that feeling instead of anger.

6. Respond assertively.The goal isn't to suppress anger, but to express it in non-aggressive ways. Blaming, accusations, threats and name-calling are aggressive responses. Calmly and assertively stating your thoughts and feelings about a situation, without blaming, is a far more powerful way to respond in conflict.

7. Relax.Anger is a high-arousal state, so one of the most helpful things you can do is engage in an activity that lowers blood pressure and heart rate, like yoga, stretching, deep breathing, massage, visualization, guided imagery or meditation. Activities like gardening, painting, and woodworking may also be very helpful. Running, walking, dancing, swimming and other forms of aerobic exercise "work off" anger and leave you feeling relaxed.

8. Relinquish your anger.If angry feelings about a particular person or situation are eating at you and none of the above techniques proves helpful, try doing what may be the most courageous and difficult thing of all: Just let it go. If the anger is based on some old wound deep inside, letting go starts a healing process. Consider enlisting the support of a professional counselor or therapist.

A technique I've found helpful is keeping the conversation constructive and on the issue: no name calling. Remember, words can hit like a fist. My Mom has a saying, "you can withdraw your fist, but you can't withdraw a spoken word." Think about it.
But what if despite your best efforts, you're in a heated discussion?

Associated Content printed a great article on dealing with arguments and offer the following tips:

"...the only real ways to end an argument on good terms are walk away, let down your viewpoint or find a way to change the argument into a calm discussion." The best way to attempt [to get to a calm discussion] ...without conceding your viewpoint is to use repair attempts. Make the other person aware that you understand their concerns and assure them we will discuss this when we are both calm. Another option is to turn away from anger and towards love, use affection and say something like "we do not need to do this now, just come and hug me”. Talk about issues before they become real issues and discuss things calmly before they become arguments."

Remember, never hit or insult--those two actions just won't solve your problem.

How about you? Share your story, tell me what's worked for you.

The "Down Low" Brother - Undermining Black America?

Today, I came across some standard statistics about the Aids epidemic among African-Americans:

The CDC states that according to the 2000 census, blacks make up approximately 13% of the US population. However, in 2005, blacks accounted for 18,121 (49%) of the estimated 37,331 new HIV/AIDS diagnoses in the United States in the 33 states with long-term, confidential name-based HIV reporting.

Of all black men living with HIV/AIDS, the primary transmission category was sexual contact with other men, followed by injection drug use and high-risk heterosexual contact.

Of all black women living with HIV/AIDS, the primary transmission category was high-risk heterosexual contact, followed by injection drug use.

Yet, it's not the numbers, but the words within the statistics that are telling. The highest risk for HIV/AIDS for women are black men...who are also having sex with other black men. As if black women don't have enough to worry about!

It's not enough to keep quoting the standard although all-important mantras: practice safe sex, get yourself and your partner tested, practice monogamy and celibacy. There's another, SIMPLE, solution to this! BLACK MEN--be honest with yourself and your partners! If you are in any way having sex with another man, you are Gay!

OK, let's move beyond labels. Stop the risky behavior. No, I'm not talking about being homosexual--that's your personal choice. No, I'm not talking about having unprotected sex or even having sex with multiple sex partners, although this type of risky behavior is dangerous to both heterosexuals and homosexuals. I'm talking about lying. And if you're a male who has had any type of sexual contact with anther male and you don't tell your partner, especially a women, I'm talking about you. Any mature adult, regardless of sexual orientation, knows that "honesty is the best policy." So let your partners, especially our precious black women know! As you can see, your dishonesty is killing them.

How To Find The IMPERFECT Mate

Today, I came across an interesting statistic about black people and marriage: 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites. And, African American women are the least likely in our society to marry.

This got me to thinking. Why do so many black folk, and women in particular, find it so hard to find someone to/worth marrying? My mind flashed back to my parents advice, all those articles I read on relationships, the Sunday sermons, and the seminars and books on "how to find the right person." As I reviewed the stuff in my mind, it dawned on me that there were common themes. So why are black folk still having a hard time? Well, sometimes I understand things better if they are stated in opposition, i.e. tell me to do something that results in exactly what I DON'T want to happen. So, if you want to practically guarantee you will enter into the wrong relationship, wrong marriage, or not marry at all, read on.

Robert's 10 Rules For Finding The Imperfect Mate

Rule 1. Date someone below your social class. That's right, marry someone with far less education and money than you and you guarantee yourself a miserable existence.
Rule 2. Date someone with different religious beliefs than you. Go ahead Christian and marry that non-church goer or that atheist. And by all means don't pray about it.
Rule 3. Judge a book by its cover, date someone simply because they are your look type.
Rule 4. Go to the club, chat room, gym, mall, Internet, etc. to find that special someone.
Rule 5. Totally disregard anything your family has to say about the person you want to marry. After all, what do they know? And you're grown!
Rule 6. Date someone solely because of their material possessions. What's the phrase on Tyler Perry's movie? "Quality"
Rule 7. Value good sex more than good conversation.
Rule 8. Date someone who is selfish and self-centered.
Rule 9. Let your Friends decide if the person is right for you.
Rule 10. Don't meet the other person's family while dating.