Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Child...Your Parents: We Need To Talk - Pt. 2 (i.e. - It's Your Life!)

Well, after a tumultuous first year; I really thought things were going to be better. After all, my daughter and I had sat down on many an occasion a talked: about school, about life, her goals, her dreams and our hopes and dreams for her. Her mother and I had done everything any parent could do--she wanted for nothing, we even attended a school disciplinary hearing to keep her in school. Now, the moment of truth, the grades are in...and...all flags! Arguh!

After listening to my wife yell at "T" almost an hour over the phone, after my wife and I going back and fourth about what to do, after lying in bed all night thinking over the situation, after sitting in the office all day going over and over this in my head, all that comes to mind is an old saying, "You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." And that's my message to both my daughter and you.

While others can want the world for someone, or want to give it to them if they could; they must want it for themselves. They must have the "whateverittakes" to do what's good for them. They must be honest and forthcoming, especially with themselves. We have our first black President; anything is possible--if THEY believe it is and THEY try. So, while we as parents can pick a child up when they fall, THEY must be willing to stand on their own two feet; or we are simply carrying them. Which is as much as to cripple them. You know, my Mom says that, "if you aim at nothing, you'll probably hit it." Now, while this is certainly not the end of the world, you have made your life a little harder and your world a lot harder place in which to live.

My wife and I are weighing our options. We know that anything we do must be in partnership with "T". She must want to do different from here on out. And obviously, we want the best for her, and that might mean letting go.

So, after the countless man-hours filling out forms, the hundred of dollars spent on tutoring, the thousands of dollars spent on tuition, fixing up the dorm room, buying school clothes, buying a car, the joy of seeing her go off to school, the pride of visiting her, the pride of telling friends and family that she was in college, the let down of her failing and still not really knowing why she failed and had such poor social performance, I can't ask but one question. Knowing what I do now, would I do it all again? Yep, you bet, because even if she doesn't know it, she deserved this chance.

And by the way baby girl: failing does not mean you're a failure.

I think someone in the church wants to testify. "Halla" if you feel me.