By now, I’m sure you’ve all heard about 21-year-old Richard McTear, Junior, who allegedly threw an infant from a car along I-275 in Florida Tuesday morning. The 3-month-old boy died. According to ABC news, the police were called to a home at 12414 North 15th Street about 45 minutes earlier on a domestic violence call at the Marbella Apartments. The caller, Jasmine Bedwell, said that she and McTear were fighting and that she and her 3-month-old son had been battered. Bedwell told the operator the man picked up the baby and threw him on the concrete. McTear then picked up the child and took off in a blue 4-door Chevrolet Impala. When asked why he did it, McTear replied, “It’s a dirty game.” Obviously, McTear is sick; therefore, I don’t want to dwell on his actions but rather on how to help women avoid such men and help men recognize when they need to get help—before they shed innocent blood.
So, women, how would you know if the person you’re dating is capable of this sort of violence?
Look for control issues. If he always has to pick where you go for a date, where you sit at the movies, orders your food without asking what you want or needs to know where you are and who you are with every second of the day—step back, he’s crazy!
Observe what he focuses on. Psychopaths can be very obsessive-compulsive on the smallest things. If he freaks out when you move a knick-knack on his mantle or fold a towel the wrong way, you may be in for a scary ride.
Watch for attempts to isolate you. Psychopaths work best once they have you isolated from family, friends and anyone who can point out what a kook you’re involved with. Sometimes, they start by needing to be with you every moment, leaving you no time for others. He’ll continue by curtailing your phone calls. He’ll conclude by taking you to isolated places, like his "romantic" trailer up in the mountains, where you can’t get away.
Beware of jealousy. If he becomes insanely jealous and enraged when you talk to the waiter, your friends, or even your brother, get out of the relationship.
Finally, take this tip from Dovescorner, Psychiatric Nurse at a major hospital and good friend. Look for change! Sudden and not typical "he is finally coming around" change in situations. Bipolar people usually do this before just before committing suicide.
Guys, how would you know if you’re crazy?
If, like this fellow, you’re caught up in a lifestyle that only allows resolution of problems through violence (whether physical, emotional, verbal, or whatever), you don’t respect human life, you don’t mind taking a human life, or you don’t respect your own—and all of your "friends" act and react the same way, you are crazy. Get help; now!
It's as simple as that.
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8 comments:
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Vip Hotel,
Thanks for your visit and kind comments.
This is indeed a sad situation that is reoccurring all to often right now all across our society. My hope with this post is to shed light on it and provide tools for people to use to stop it from happening in their lives.
Please continue to visit, share your thoughts, and recommend my blog to friends. Also, if there is an issue important to you, please let me know.
Wow this is an excellent blog entry! Concise and very true! I did not realize you wrote so well!
I would like to add that from the sane side of the fence "the need to be needed and loved overrides a woman's common sense and her logical sound judgement"! That is why so many find themselve in situations that oneday becomes unbearable. Look at Drew Peterson his current girlfriend is dating him knowing that at least 3 wives are missing and presumed DEAD! A good man is not hard to find. The time to throughly examime the man/woman is what they fail to so and it blind sides them. Spending Lots of time is IMPORTANT (leave you kids home and safe) With that said, this advice applies to both women and men alike! Remember "Fatal Attraction" and now "Obscessed" with Beyonce! Take these movies serious because the speak to what is real!
In an age of instant and microwave we forget that some things take longer. A good Wine or Vinegar take time to ferment! It's value would depreciate if it didn't. With that said, some errors in judgement are fatal; so in this day and age of undiagnosed mental illness WOMEN CANNOT afford to suffer from a sort of Post Tramatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and not fully vet men/women we allow in our lives.
Some say that online friendships are dangerous. Well yes and no. IamRobert mentioned to you that I am a Psychiatric Nurse. I have 25 years with the stuff and have seen quit a bit. Since communication on line (not in chat rooms) I find that chatting online allows me to talk without the complication of intimacy. I teach Nursing and I recently had a student that met her husband online! Wow was my first thought! I play games on Pogo, a game site and I met a woman from Oregon there, she met her husband online and Has a Fantastic relations of more than 15years! Again another Wow moment! But being a psych nurse, I have probed into lives rather intimately to explore things like this topic Robert has introduced, and situation that I have noticed recurrent in human behavior over my 25 years in the business! Online I have met good and I have met bad but one thing I have found consistent with online and in person relationships is this.....time will tell! Online it may take 2 weeks of great talking but guess what? If they are crazy or a brain cell is not firing correctly, they won't be able to deny their real motives in the relationship for long! Same situation with in person relationships!
I could go on as this topic is big! Thanks Robert for talking it up! The bible tells us Whoa unto the man that becomes comfortable with darkness because after a period of time, it becomes light! (paraphrased). My point? Acknowledge you are lonely keep it in plain view and don't let it guide you into darkness or death, in this case a baby suffered.
Turtlelovenurse:
Thanks so much for the kind words and support. You have touched on so many good points here. Perhaps the main one is that of knowing one's own self-worth. Now, when I say that, I'm not talking about selfishness, but rather a knowledge that as a human being, you are a special creation that was made by God to accomplish something in HIS name. You people, heed the words of this wise woman, slow down, wise up, read up, and choose your mate wisely.
It's not always easy for a woman to break away from a man like that, Turtlelovenurse is right. When I was very young I was with a man like that for 4 years. Fortunately I grew up - and away. it's too difficult to go into.
Anji,
I think that is key, growing up and realizing that you as a person have worth outside of the individual you are dating. I think people must also realize that there are productive and destructive ways to do things--violence is always destructive.
What was the one thing that enabled you to leave? Did you have a good support group? I've heard that we all tend to attract the same type of people. Was this initially true in your case?
I didn't feel that I had a good support group.I remember that I didn't have much confidence in myself. Perhaps it was the way I was brought up? I felt 'unworthy'. I did not repeat the same mistake, although I used to be attracted to men who weren't good for me.
My husband is someone completely different, the mold can be broken!
Wow! I'm so impressed. In speaking with women, they often say it's hard enough to "break away" when you do have a support group. Anji, to do it all on your own is nothing short of miraculous.
What finally made you began to have confidence, in you? That's a lesson we all could learn.
Thanks so much for sharing.
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