Poor Schools Or Being Poor Are Not Holding Your Kids Back: your poor parenting skills are — turn your family on by turning your TV off

Now that I have your attention, let me start by saying that urban schools are not without their challenges: in-effective school boards whose members are more politicians than educators, unqualified or barley qualified staff, teacher turnover lack of funding, etc. And yes, these things need to be fixed. However, despite these challenges, most public schools, even those in the inner-city, do a good job given the task at hand: educating children who come through their doors with a host of issues that should have been resolved at home: lack of quality medical care; hunger; depression; domestic violence; child abuse; alcohol or drug abuse by family member; family lack of priorities, especially for education; lack of productive male role model; etc. The way I see it, these schools are being asked to be mom, dad, counselor, pastor, doctor, dietitian, motivator, and teacher—all rolled into one. And folks, that simply just can’t be done. Government cannot fix all the ills of society. Parents, you need to get involved! One way to do this is to get family back focused on each other by turning off the television.

The average U.S. household has at least one TV set turned on for about seven hours a day. The American Academy of Pediatrics' recommends that a child watch no more than one to two supervised hours of TV a day. Yet the average school-aged child watches 27 hours of television per week (some preschoolers watch much more). And most of the time, they are unsupervised by a parent or responsible adult.

Here’s an interesting fact. Did you know that kids today spend twice as much time in front of a TV or computer as in the classroom? Children spend about five hours watching television, playing computer games or online each day—that’s 2,000 hours a year! Yet, they only spend 900 hours in class and 1,270 hours with their parents.

Do you allow your kids to watch this much TV or stay on the computer this long?

Did you also know that much of what your child is watching is intended for adults and that TV shows contain approximately 20 violent acts per hour?


Do you supervise your children while watching TV or using a computer? You should.


I also found the habits of parents in other countries interesting. Japanese kids watch about four hours of television every day, yet they continue to outscore American kids on all standardized test. Why? Japanese parents not only monitor but control what their kids watch. Japanese parents tie television watching to homework (i.e. watching more educational shows and the completion of homework before watching TV. Wow, there goes that parenting thing again—and it didn’t cost any money.

Chinese children are not even allowed to go out with friends or watch television on school nights—they to school six nights a week. They are expected to be responsible, work on their own, do their homework, and do well.

You see, it’s all about priorities. We must make parenting, education, and saving a priority in our families. Parenting is not just something you do because you had kids. You should have had the kids only after you knew you wanted to and were ready to be a parent. While public schools have their share of problems, I contend that too many of our children come to school ill prepared to learn and expect schools to fix these problems. Mark Michaelis in “The Seven Big Problems In High School,” summed it up this way:

"In the 1940s a survey listed the top seven discipline problems in public schools: talking, chewing gum, making noise, running in the halls, getting out of turn in line, wearing improper clothes, not putting paper in wastebaskets. A 1980s survey lists these top seven: drug abuse, alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery, assault. (Arson, gang warfare and venereal disease are also-rans.)"

After reading this, do you still feel public schools share much of the blame for your child's lack of academic success? If so, would you please tell me why?

Keep this in mind; over the course of a year, children spend more time watching TV than they spend in school or participating in any other activity except sleep. If one of these kids is yours; you need to reset your priorities. So, the next time your kid reaches for the remote or the laptop, give them a book instead. Better yet, read the book with them. After all, if your kid is not doing well in school, it’s your fault.

Do you send your children to school ready to learn?

Child...Your Parents: We Need To Talk - Pt. 2 (i.e. - It's Your Life!)

Well, after a tumultuous first year; I really thought things were going to be better. After all, my daughter and I had sat down on many an occasion a talked: about school, about life, her goals, her dreams and our hopes and dreams for her. Her mother and I had done everything any parent could do--she wanted for nothing, we even attended a school disciplinary hearing to keep her in school. Now, the moment of truth, the grades are in...and...all flags! Arguh!

After listening to my wife yell at "T" almost an hour over the phone, after my wife and I going back and fourth about what to do, after lying in bed all night thinking over the situation, after sitting in the office all day going over and over this in my head, all that comes to mind is an old saying, "You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." And that's my message to both my daughter and you.

While others can want the world for someone, or want to give it to them if they could; they must want it for themselves. They must have the "whateverittakes" to do what's good for them. They must be honest and forthcoming, especially with themselves. We have our first black President; anything is possible--if THEY believe it is and THEY try. So, while we as parents can pick a child up when they fall, THEY must be willing to stand on their own two feet; or we are simply carrying them. Which is as much as to cripple them. You know, my Mom says that, "if you aim at nothing, you'll probably hit it." Now, while this is certainly not the end of the world, you have made your life a little harder and your world a lot harder place in which to live.

My wife and I are weighing our options. We know that anything we do must be in partnership with "T". She must want to do different from here on out. And obviously, we want the best for her, and that might mean letting go.

So, after the countless man-hours filling out forms, the hundred of dollars spent on tutoring, the thousands of dollars spent on tuition, fixing up the dorm room, buying school clothes, buying a car, the joy of seeing her go off to school, the pride of visiting her, the pride of telling friends and family that she was in college, the let down of her failing and still not really knowing why she failed and had such poor social performance, I can't ask but one question. Knowing what I do now, would I do it all again? Yep, you bet, because even if she doesn't know it, she deserved this chance.

And by the way baby girl: failing does not mean you're a failure.

I think someone in the church wants to testify. "Halla" if you feel me.